1. |
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it's still hard to swallow
the last words that you said
i hope you feel ashamed
dull and washed out colours
shimmer through my head
it still feels like a dream
and i stood in the yard
and i cried
and i asked you to stay
and you cried and looked tired
and you walked away
and you never looked back
but i swore that you smiled
brother i tried
i wanna leave this town
i wanna leave this town
and out near the church
where the stone flowers grow
where we buried you
under the ghost gum
and dad wouldn't come
and everyone watched me
but i couldn't cry
brother i tried
i wanna leave this town
i wanna leave this town
now when the wind blows
dusty dry and dead
i miss you in my bones
i still see the twisted metal
like a giant carcass spread
i feel so alone
and i stood in the yard
and i cried
and you wouldn't stay
and you cried and looked tired
and you turned away
and you never looked back
but i swore that you smiled
brother i tried
i wanna leave this town
i wanna leave this town
i wanna leave this town
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2. |
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look at this rambling slurring mess
look at these drunken blood shot eyes
i know him i confess
but i can't remember where his heart lies
lifting the bottle to his chin
breathing out and drinking in
the world is huge and he's afraid
of all the hurt that he has made
and i want know
where promises are buried when they go
and everybody tries
but you can't forever hang your head or forever hide your eyes
and it hurts less when i'm stoned
and nothing matters when i'm pissed
all the lies that i was told
and all the shitheads that i miss
there'll be another one to drink
til i can't see and i can't think
til i can't see you standing there
in the garden by the stairs
and i want know
where promises are buried when they go
and everybody tries
but you can't forever hang your head or forever hide your eyes
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3. |
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4. |
I Still Dream Of You
03:59
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5. |
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|
today dad started talking
we were sitting at breakfast
and he said your name
today dad started talking
dad started talking
he asked me what i knew
i said you never told me anything
said that you never liked talking
saturday
it was a saturday
it was a saturday
and we talked
he said he never understood you
and why you were so angry
and why you liked to do
the things you did
and he hoped i didn't blame him
now that you were gone
and no one could explain
the thing you did
it was a saturday
it was a saturday
was a saturday
and we talked
and i sat and i was quiet
and my breakfast turned to mush
and i didn't know where to look
or what to do
and then it got too hard
and there was nothing else to say
so i said
yeah dad, i love you too.
was a saturday
was a saturday
was a saturday
and we talked
was a saturday
was a saturday
was a saturday
and we talked about you
|
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6. |
The Beautiful Tedium
03:18
|
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7. |
It's So Quiet
03:39
|
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|
it's so quiet
it's so still
everything's suspended
i can hear my breath
i'm not tired
i've no guilt
i know nothing really ended
when you laughed to death
when i raise up my hands i swear
i can feel the space
i can feel the space
like a ball
and i hear to the curve of the
horizon
i can hear it
hear it all
and you fell
in the face
of impossible demands
like a fire
in a fog
half a boy and half a man
it's so quiet
it's so still
everything's suspended
i can hear my breath
and you fell
in the face
of impossible demands
with your heart
in the world
and your feet snared in the land
i'm not tired
i've no guilt
i know nothing really ended
when you laughed to death
when i raise up my hands i swear
i can see your face
colours and the shapes
see it all
and i feel
time roar at the horizons
hold it in my arms
like a ball
it's so quiet
it's so still
everyone is leaving
they're all bored to death
|
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8. |
I Can Change
03:37
|
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|
it's so quiet
it's so still
everything's suspended
I can hear my breath
i'm not tired
i've no guilt
I know nothing really ended
when you laughed to death
when I raise up my hands I swear
I can feel the space
I can feel space
like a ball
and I hear . . to the curve of the
horizon
I can hear it
hear it all
And we fall
In the face
Of impossible demands
Like a fire
In a fog
Half a boy and half a man
it's so quiet
it's so still
everything's suspended
I can hear my breath
And you fell
In the face
Of impossible demands
With a heart
In the world
And your feet snared in the land
i'm not tired
i've no guilt
I know nothing really ended
when you laughed to death
when I raise up my hands I swear
I can see your face
colours and the shapes
See it all
and I feel
time roar at the horizons
hold it in my arms
like a ball
it's so quiet
it's so still
everyone is leaving
they're all bored to death
|
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9. |
I Don't Miss You
04:55
|
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|
when i woke up i nearly cried
cause that last part of you was gone
i couldn’t hear your voice inside
my head i couldn’t hear your songs
from outside sun came hurling in
instead of claustrophobic night
first time in months that i felt hinged
first time i didn’t wake in fright
i don’t miss you
so bad that i can’t sleep
i don’t miss you
so bad that i don’t eat
i don’t miss you
that much anymore
shed wasn’t where you used to hang
garden not where i heard your last words
wandered up to the paddock and the tank
couldn’t think for the crickets and the birds
i don’t miss you
so bad that i can’t sleep
i don’t miss you
so bad that i don’t eat
i don’t miss you
that much anymore
choices are really hard
but i think mine are made
pitch a tent in the yard
make you proud i stayed
i don’t miss you
so bad that i can’t sleep
i don’t miss you
so bad that i don’t eat
i don't miss you
i'll always love you
but you just hurt too much
i don’t miss you
that much anymore
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10. |
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i don’t have faith in friends or blood
not disaffected don’t need miracle drugs
everything is meat in the hard blue light
from family to those you don’t know
but i am so in love today
and it’s not the type of love that fades
everytime i breathe you there is a kick in my heart
and deep inside my soul i ache
aeroplanes
land far away
that’s not how i’m made
i will stay
aeroplanes
land far away
that’s not how i’m made
i will stay
deep under my feet in the red hot earth
there are creatures that are older than time
and the moments that they stir there are shudders underfoot
and the grey stone breathes and grinds
and if you listen hard you can hear the weeping
of a desert that’s been left to die
i can’t walk away from this brutalised country
and i can’t explain so don’t ask why
aeroplanes
land far away
that’s not how i’m made
i will stay
aeroplanes
land far away
that’s not how i’m made
i will stay
if you can’t feel it
you can’t know it
carve yourself down your centre line
present the raw meat to the sky
to the horizon
to the dirt
let the land rush in
let it fill you
pack you like grass and feather
fill you with fecund life
don’t panic or fight
as you swell
flesh ruptures
borders overrun
be consumed
the country is in pain
run mongrel and run wild
as you ache for it
it grieves for you
it wants to go home
and you need to know home
home is country
country is home
lie down
two halves twitching
raw and wide
let the small creatures dine
on this
this you
let you body dissolve into
great puddles
the keepers will feast
the trees will drink
and you will be home
you will be home
be home
home
be home
home
aeroplanes
land far away
that’s not how i’m made
i will stay
aeroplanes
land far away
that’s not how i’m made
i will stay
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Seamus Kirkpatrick Brisbane, Australia
Seamus Kirkpatrick is a Brisbane based musician, writer and educator.
This is a bit of a clearing house for various projects including demos, world music, pop and experimental albums.
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